My dad is the reason I'm not married yet

I realize that that statement makes it sound like he stands at the door with a shotgun every time I bring a date home and I can neither confirm nor deny that supposition... just kidding. I realized tonight, though, while talking with some of the girls in my program, that it is true that my dad's the reason I'm not married yet, but the reasons aren't bad. Here's why:

1. My dad is supportive. Totally. On Monday night, I called him to tell him about a presentation I did and we ended up talking about class. Now, Daddy's an engineer, so Victorian literary criticism and theory isn't exactly his thing. But it is mine, so he listened while I went on about what an exciting class it was. And I'm realizing that because I've chosen such a highly competitive profession (the term "publish or perish" exists for a reason), I'm going to need a spouse who's incredibly supportive.

2. My dad isn't afraid of sacrifice. Ever since I can remember, he's worked for pharmaceutical companies, which means that buyouts happen a lot, so his job changes too. Right now, he's working an hour away from where my family lives because my mom and brothers are at good schools and they decided not to uproot the family this year. I think that's pretty awesome.

3. My dad is calm. Now, most of the time I pride myself on thinking and acting logically, but I do have a slightly dramatic bent to my personality, so sometimes I need to freak out. Like when I got that horrible sunburn the other week: I called him crying and yelling because it hurt so bad. He listened, then calmly told me what to do to make it better and called back the next morning to check on me. And I was a little better physically, but it just helped to have someone who could be logical so I could just react. This also ties in with number 1 above-I'm sure my freaking-out days won't be over when I get whatever degree I end up with, so I'll need someone to balance me out when I'm upset.

4. My dad is totally, completely, 100% in love with my mom. She is definitely the most important thing in his life and it's really sweet to watch the two of them. They are human, so their relationship isn't perfect, but it's a good one and they're good together. And really, more than anything, that's what I want.

So my dad is the reason that I'm not married yet, because I haven't found anyone so far who can live up to the ideal he's given me. But whenever I find him, I know it will be worth it.

Small Blessings, Day 7

As my week of counting blessings closes, I want to focus on the thing that's struck me today: One of the biggest blessings in my life is that I have chosen to be where I am. It surprises me sometimes how much of their lives people put online, and I guess that I am no different, since I do have a blog. However, I've noticed this remarkable trend on Facebook that some people put a lot of the negativity in their lives out on the internet for the world to see. I consciously try not to for a couple of reasons.

First, I don't want my mother to worry because I know she reads what I write :)

Second, as I said above, I have chosen this life. Yes, sometimes it would be easier to not be in school and I really wish I had a secure job, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm doing what I want to do and what I'm supposed to do. Moving here, enrolling in this program, making my life (for now, anyways) here: all my choice. And everyone makes those choices. I don't know anyone who was actually forced into doing what they're doing; some people have, apparently, made the wrong choice for them and are therefore unhappy, but that's part of being a grownup.

I've been thinking a lot about that idea of being grownup lately, because honestly sometimes it feels like this life is just play-acting at being a grownup, that one of these days, the woman who really lives in this apartment, goes to my school, drives my car, will come back and want me to relinquish her life; it hasn't quite sunk in that her life is mine. But being a grownup is more than just paying bills, having a job and choosing to do things like eat ice cream for dinner (not that I did, but I thought really hard about it tonight!). It's about owning the decisions you make and making the best of them when you choose the wrong thing.

So that's what I'm thankful for today: that I've made the right choice for my life right now and that I have the sense to see it :)

Small Blessings, Day 6

This morning, I really thought that I was going to have to work hard to find blessings in today, as I overslept by 35 minutes; my alarm was set for 8:45 (beach time) instead of 6:45 (work time), and the only reason I got up at 7:20 was because Monday is garbage day and there's a dumpster pretty close to my apartment. I managed to only be 10 minutes late to work, though and the day went uphill from there.

My supervisor told me she's pleased with my work and feels like I'm one of the more conscientious people on the team, which was nice to hear since I've only been there a month. She was at lunch when I ran out of phrases, so I got to leave work early and go sit in my new favorite spot by the fountain to go over my presentation that I gave tonight.

Old English was... long. We spent an hour going over 5 sentences, but Dr. Ward didn't correct my pronunciation at all, which was exciting, as that's one of the things I still struggle with, even after 2 semesters in undergrad.

I went for coffee between classes with my "posse," as Ann has termed us and then we went on a field trip to the library to pick up some books she'd ILL'd. Victorian lit went really well; I had a couple of insights in class that my professor appreciated and my presentation went fabulously. I felt like I was rambling a bit, but when I finished, he said that was exactly what he was looking for from our presentations, so that was a relief.

After class, some of the girls and I went to dinner at La Ha, a Mexican place downtown that's really cheap and actually pretty good. As I type this, my friend Ashley is on her way over, because her apartment has no water, so she's coming to spend the night with me.

Despite the title of this post, I think I've got some pretty big blessings in my life. I was telling my grandparents tonight that I feel like I've carried our senior motto (Go Big or Go Home) into grad school and man, does it feel good!

Small Blessings, Day 5

Today was pretty much perfect. Hillary came down yesterday and we spent all evening laughing, catching up and drinking wine. This morning, we got up and went to the beach, which was AMAZING. I am so blessed to live at the coast!

It was just around 80 degrees, with really low humidity because of the terrific storm last night. There was a breeze and the beach was quiet, with just a few families; the sky had some clouds, and they were frothy and moved around a lot. We laid out for a while, then went for a walk in the (warm!) water. After that, we stopped at one of the restaurants along the main street of the island, had a sandwich and then came back.

It was a good day. It's good to recognize good things :)

Simple Blessings, Day 4

Several things about today:

-Small birds playing on my patio and singing this morning

-The smell of fresh-baked bread

-The laughter of friends

-A clean apartment

-Girls night with my old roommate

Simple Blessings, Day 3

Early this evening, after I got back from the grocery store, I was taking my trash out. As I was walking back from the dumpsters, a door opened and some kids came out to play on their front patio. One of them, a little boy about 5 years old, said "Hey! Lady!" so I turned my head. He said "Hi!!" and then went back to singing while he climbed on the fence. I said "Hi!" back and then continued on my way, thankful that that sweet boy took a moment to say hi in an irrepressibly spontaneous kid way

Small Blessings, Day 2

I had another fabulous half hour today, this time at the Citadel. But somehow, I don't think that counts to write about the same thing 2 days in a row, even if it's true.

But I did have a wonderful drive home. It was pretty cool (about 75 degrees at 6:45) and the sunset over the river was beautiful. As I drove across the bridge, I could smell the salt from the river and see the silhouettes of the dark palm trees against the pinkish-orange sky. Yes, I am blessed.

Small Blessings, Day 1

My pastor down here suggested last week that, as a part of my spiritual development, I end each day looking for the places in my life that God has given me small things. He said that it's not often that God speaks through a parting of the skies, but that He's very intimately involved in our lives in very small ways. I've been practicing that for a week now, and I've realized that there are some very beautiful small moments in each day. So, for the next week, I want to share those things with you.

Today's was exceptionally good. I got a text from my friend this morning asking about our Old English homework which I hadn't finished last night. I decided to leave work half an hour early and head down to campus to work. The building that my class is in is itself in a small courtyard and there are lots of trees because it's right in the middle of downtown. I found a seat on the edge of a deserted planter that had a (working!) fountain in the middle. It was a shady spot and rather cool; it was only about 80 today and a small breeze was blowing. I spent an hour there, working on my translation, which is one of my favorite things to do, in a very nerdy kind of way. I was wearing one of my favorite skirts and the breeze ruffled it and blew through my curls. That quiet hour was one of the best times I've had in a while. At one point in the middle of it, I became cognizant of the situation and thought "wow. I really belong here."

Anyone else have small things to share?

Yesterday's quote of the day

I spent most of yesterday at a Student Leadership Summit so that the GEA wouldn't get 30% of our budget taken away. Most of it wasn't too memorable, except for the "working lunch" where my partner in crime and I sat with a guy from an acapella group and a guy from the archaeology club. At one point, I got up to refill my drink and accidentally got unsweetened tea (which I didn't even know they made down here). When I mentioned that, acapella guy said "Yeah, I don't like unsweet tea. I'd prefer a nice glass of diabetes, which is how is should be down here."

Welcome to the south

One of the 8 million reasons I love Joe

Joe is number 3 of 5, the middle boy in our house. He's also known as "Big J" or, when writing "J"-Jack is "Little J" and "j". Anyway, our birthdays are 4 years and 363 days apart. He came home from the hospital on my 5th birthday, so we've always had a special bond. As evidence, here's our facebook conversation from this evening:

Me

you know, just chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool

Joe

taking part in recreational sporting events outside of the establishment where you receive and education?

Me

when several young hoodlums who had malicious intent started harassing the individuals who reside concurrent to my place of residence

Joe

my guardian was alarmed at this peril and felt it was in my best interest to reside with my mother's brother in another part of the country.

Me

when i arrived, i motioned for a vehicle wherein to be transported to my uncle's place of residence and noticed that the identifying plate on the vehicle bore the adjective "fresh" and the gentleman driving had a curious pair of novelty dice hanging from his mirror

Joe

I, however, being in somewhat of haste, decided to pay no mind to the novelty dice and request my chauffeur to proceed to my new place of residence

Me

we arrived at said residence between seven and eight o'clock pm, and as I exited the vehicle, I bid the chauffeur farewell and proceeded to examine the luxuriousness of my new dwelling place. I truly felt like a prince arriving in his own kingdom

Yes, we took the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song and put them into proper English. Special is one way to describe us!

I love living on the coast

Yesterday I went to the beach with my brother's girlfriend, Erin, who's down visiting for the weekend. He had a football game to work, so we packed up and went to Sullivan's Island, one of the islands around here. A friend of mine from my program had told me that it wasn't really crowded, so it was a good place to go. We had a lot of fun, despite the comedy of errors that it really was.

First, Erin didn't have a bathing suit (because I forgot to call and tell her that I was planning a beach day), so she was wearing shorts that, of course, got wet as we waded in the water a little bit. Second, we only brought one towel, so we had to share it. Third, I'm terrible with sunscreen, so not only was I incredibly sandy when we got back, I also look like I have a Picasso painting on my back. Fourth, we went without eating breakfast and then forgot to bring food or water, so by the time we finally ate something at 4:00, we were ravenous.

However, we had a lot of fun just hanging out; she's the first girl that my brother's dated that I've gotten along with like this, so I'm thankful for that. We people-watched, which is always interesting at the beach, then navigated back to Pat's school to pick him up. The three of us spent the evening here with one of his cadet friends; it was a good night

Acting like a grownup

Last night, I went to bed with an upset stomach. I'm going to blame my non-functioning gallbladder for not dealing properly with yesterday's deviation from my normal eating habits. I woke up still not feeling great this morning, but as I hadn't actually been sick, I went to work anyway. For the first couple of hours it wasn't so bad, but as the morning progressed I felt worse. I texted my dad to see if he was sick too, but it was just me. I really wanted to go home and crawl in bed, but there wasn't actually a reason for me to leave so... I stayed. And I lived.

Sometimes being a grownup isn't so much fun. However, getting to decide to go to the beach tomorrow totally is. So it all evens out in the end

Only the really classy girls drink wine out of juice glasses

Or those of us that don't have wine glasses.

Anyway, I'm doing much better today. I hear that I made my mother cry this morning when she read my depressing post last night, so this is an attempt to ratify that with a couple of stories from my day.

1) At work this morning, just about everyone was late because of traffic; there's bridge construction coming from the island where they apparently all live (guess I'm not one of the cool kids!). One of the guys who's interning with me said that he was late because of an accident... that Animal Control had stopped at to help

2) I'm starting to get around this fair city without my GPS-I only got a little lost going from church (where I had lector training) home. Go me!

3) Bon-Qui-Qui is coming to my school. I don't know where, when or why, but I do know that student tickets are $5 and public tickets are $10. I feel like I ought to investigate this more.