Bright spots in a rough day

I suppose it's just the end of the semester looming, but today was really rough for a couple of reasons:

1. I'm sad that my family gets to be together in NC while I'm here (even though they'll be here in one day and a wakeup)

2. I'm a little overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done before December

3. My foot hurts

4. The library is insisting that I lost a book that I know I returned

5. My laptop bottom is cracked, so I have to leave work tomorrow to go to the Apple store to see what they can do about it

However, today hasn't been all bad. For everything that's upset me today, there's been something positive to balance it out.

First, when I parked at school today, one of the compact car spots was open, which is never the case. And since I drive a little car, I got to park there, which made me pretty cheerful. The parking garage leads me to #2. I was walking to the library, minding my own business when a running guy brushed by me-he didn't actually touch me, but he was close enough that it scared me to death. I let out a gasp because I was wrapped up in my own world and that startled me out of it. He called "sorry" over his shoulder, but then when I got further up the street, I saw that he had stopped to apologize properly. He said that he hadn't really been paying attention because of his iPod, and asked several times if I was OK. Of course I was, but his kindness in actually taking the time to make sure made me grateful for human kindness in general.

Third, I have a new pair of shoes! A woman in my Old English class got them, wore them once and found that they hurt her feet, so she passed them on to me. They're oxblood (which is about the worst color name I can think of) leather heels-not practical for cobblestones, but oh so pretty for other things :)

Fourth, I had a bit of a breakdown this evening and rather than sit around feeling sorry for myself and eating a bunch of crap, I decided to clean my apartment really well. 2 hours later and I have a clean apartment (#5!), but I feel much better about myself. Lately I've renewed my commitment to taking care of myself, because I'm seeing how much of a physical toll being in grad school takes on a body; if I'm going to be in this kind of environment professionally, I need to make sure that I'm in tip-top shape. So the fact that I kept my commitment to that makes me pretty proud of myself. Also, I am now exhausted, so I'm off to bed. Maybe one of these days I'll become a regular blogger. Maybe.

It must be the end of the semester...

Because my kitchen looks like this:

My to-do list for this weekend has about 30 things on it, most of which are school related, and I've committed myself to starting my end-of-term papers by setting up appointments with professors to talk about them (eek!). But again, really, I'm happy with what I'm doing. And I'm starting to get super-pumped for next semester: Early Modern Epic in Translation, Tolkien and TA-ing in an undergrad Chaucer class.

In other news, only 11 days until my family gets down here for Thanksgiving and I get to spend the weekend at the beach house with them. Since I have my own kitchen now, I'm going to bring a few things... just not sure what yet :). Thanksgiving is also part of the reason I'm trying to get ahead now, because I know that I won't want to work while everyone's down here.

I know I'm being a bad blogger right now, but... I still have a job, which means that I'll be down here for most of December and school gets out somewhere around Dec 10th, so I should have plenty of time in about a month, if anyone ever even reads me by that point!

Happiness is...

Happiness is... sleeping in for the first time in a month.

Now, granted, I've been busy in a good kind of way (especially last weekend, having my family here :)), but it was nice to know when I went to bed last night that it was OK to sleep until 10:00, which I definitely did, because I knew that all I had to do today was homework, and it was glorious.

Happiness is... a cool fall day spent reading.

Some Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, some Kipling, some Richard Wright-kind of random, all for homework, but all good. Speaking of reading, if you have not read Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, you need to. Right now. We read it for African American lit this week and it was one of those books that reminded me why I'm doing what I'm doing. Hurston uses dialect for the speech, which can be a little difficult at first, but it is so worth it. I'm planning a blog that details exactly what I loved about the book, but while I'm working on that, you should be reading :)

Happiness is... a clean apartment.

Before I went out last night, I got my apartment mostly straightened up and finished it this morning. It feels so nice to have it neat and clean-it's doing wonders for my productivity!

Happiness is... homemade bread.

I found a recipe here, in a link that popped up in my Google Reader (I like going through the suggested links, even though I don't subscribe to a whole lot of them, since Google tends to suggest a lot of super-fundamentalist evangelical blogs for me, which is not me at all!). I modified it quite a bit, as you can see by clicking the link and comparing it to the following; I haven't tried it, but am looking forward to a simple dinner of soup and a sandwich:

• 1/2 cup warm water
• 1 packets of yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp)
• 1 tbsp sugar, divided
• 1 tbsp oil
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup milk
• 3-3 1/2 cups flour

Dissolve 1/2 tbsp sugar into 1/2 cup of warm water in a large mixing bowl. Sprinkle yeast on top of the mixture and allow to foam for 5 minutes. Add oil, additional sugar, salt and milk; mix well. Add three cups of flour; mix 50 times clockwise, then 50 times counterclockwise.

Add 1 1/2 cups of additional flour until dough forms a ball. If necessary, add additional flour. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead for 5 minutes. The dough should be slightly sticky.

Roll the dough into a ball and place in a buttered bowl. Cover and let rise in a warm place for an hour. Punch down the dough and let rise for an additional 30 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes, place into greased loaf pan and let rise for an additional 30 minutes.

Bake the loaf in a 425-degree oven for 25-30 minutes. Remove from the loaf pan immediately after baking. Let cool for at least 15 minutes.

Sorry to have been AWOL for so long; it was midterm season, so I was swamped with work. At this point, though, I'm almost done with my work for the beginning of the week and just need to finish my Wednesday presentation and do my Thursday reading. Also, in 20 days, I'll be home for Corn! Yay!!

Small Blessings, Day 6

This morning, I really thought that I was going to have to work hard to find blessings in today, as I overslept by 35 minutes; my alarm was set for 8:45 (beach time) instead of 6:45 (work time), and the only reason I got up at 7:20 was because Monday is garbage day and there's a dumpster pretty close to my apartment. I managed to only be 10 minutes late to work, though and the day went uphill from there.

My supervisor told me she's pleased with my work and feels like I'm one of the more conscientious people on the team, which was nice to hear since I've only been there a month. She was at lunch when I ran out of phrases, so I got to leave work early and go sit in my new favorite spot by the fountain to go over my presentation that I gave tonight.

Old English was... long. We spent an hour going over 5 sentences, but Dr. Ward didn't correct my pronunciation at all, which was exciting, as that's one of the things I still struggle with, even after 2 semesters in undergrad.

I went for coffee between classes with my "posse," as Ann has termed us and then we went on a field trip to the library to pick up some books she'd ILL'd. Victorian lit went really well; I had a couple of insights in class that my professor appreciated and my presentation went fabulously. I felt like I was rambling a bit, but when I finished, he said that was exactly what he was looking for from our presentations, so that was a relief.

After class, some of the girls and I went to dinner at La Ha, a Mexican place downtown that's really cheap and actually pretty good. As I type this, my friend Ashley is on her way over, because her apartment has no water, so she's coming to spend the night with me.

Despite the title of this post, I think I've got some pretty big blessings in my life. I was telling my grandparents tonight that I feel like I've carried our senior motto (Go Big or Go Home) into grad school and man, does it feel good!

Small Blessings, Day 1

My pastor down here suggested last week that, as a part of my spiritual development, I end each day looking for the places in my life that God has given me small things. He said that it's not often that God speaks through a parting of the skies, but that He's very intimately involved in our lives in very small ways. I've been practicing that for a week now, and I've realized that there are some very beautiful small moments in each day. So, for the next week, I want to share those things with you.

Today's was exceptionally good. I got a text from my friend this morning asking about our Old English homework which I hadn't finished last night. I decided to leave work half an hour early and head down to campus to work. The building that my class is in is itself in a small courtyard and there are lots of trees because it's right in the middle of downtown. I found a seat on the edge of a deserted planter that had a (working!) fountain in the middle. It was a shady spot and rather cool; it was only about 80 today and a small breeze was blowing. I spent an hour there, working on my translation, which is one of my favorite things to do, in a very nerdy kind of way. I was wearing one of my favorite skirts and the breeze ruffled it and blew through my curls. That quiet hour was one of the best times I've had in a while. At one point in the middle of it, I became cognizant of the situation and thought "wow. I really belong here."

Anyone else have small things to share?

One week in

Week 2 of grad school starts tomorrow and I have to say, I'm still excited. I still haven't had one of my classes yet (it's on Monday evenings and classes started on Tuesday last week), so I still don't know quite what my semester looks like-or rather, what midterm/final time will look like for me.

So far, Old English is exactly what I expected, but after 2 semesters in undergrad, I'm not surprised. I got together with my little study group today to work on the translation for tomorrow; they're all first-years too and I'm excited about having friends in my program. African-American Lit is going to be intense--we're reading a book a week and have to come in with 2 discussion questions and a passage to explicate, as well as the pedagogical approach we would take with that particular passage. Once I get through the first week and really find out what she wants, I think I'll feel better about that. Right now, I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. The plus side of grad school, though, is that I'm only taking 3 classes instead of the 8 or 9 I would take a semester in undergrad. Don't get me wrong, the workload is heavier (a 3, an 8, and a 20 page paper for one class), but since I'm spending less time in class, I feel like that balances out.

I've also taken on a new project: I'm chairing the newly-created Academic Research Committee for our GEA and planning a research symposium for the spring. The exec board felt that, based on the experiences I had at MC, especially in the honors program, I was the best woman for the job. It will be a 2 year volunteer position and I am so excited to take this on. I'm meeting with the VP of the GEA on Wednesday to talk about budgets, etc; I'm truly jumping in with both feet :)

With week 1 finished, though, I can say that I really feel prepared for this. This is where I'm supposed to be, and my MC education definitely got me ready for this. I'm confident in class and spoke up and volunteered to read a poem in African-American on Thursday. I'm making friends and getting to know my way around--this life I have is really blessed.

Letter to college freshman me

I start my graduate classes tomorrow-yay! I'm ready, with clothes laid out and bookbag packed; I'm just a little excited. As I was getting ready this evening, I started thinking about how, if you had talked to me 4 years ago, when I was just entering college, I wouldn't have told you that I'd be here, getting ready to do this right now. I also thought about how I don't think I believe in regrets; while I haven't always made the best choices, I've learned something from every mistake I've made, which has given them value. So if I were to write my 18 year old self a letter, I wouldn't tell myself what not to do, given what I know now. Here's what I would say:

Dear 18 year old me,

Well, you've got about a week of college under your belt now; it's not too bad, is it? Bummer about that math class-hang in there and just keep working hard. Now, since this is a letter from yourself in the future, you're probably expecting advice about what you should do differently in college. I'm not going to do that though, because you need all the lessons that you'll learn. Not all of them will be fun, but you'll come out on the other side a better person for them.

Here's what you do need to know about what you'll do in the next four years. You'll make some wonderful friends and mentors; you know a couple of them now, even though you don't know how valuable their friendship will be. That girl Sam that lives upstairs? You don't know this yet, but she'll push you to be a better person in so many ways; you'll gain a lot from her outgoing personality and incredible loyalty. You'll see. Also, your English teacher, Dr. G-you'll end up taking a lot of her classes (I guess that's not spoiling anything since you already know you're majoring in English). She'll want you to take some things that you won't want to take, but you'll do it and be a better person for it.

Now, I said you'll learn some lessons that are hard. You'll make mistakes, which I know you hate, but hey sweetheart, you're just human. You are blessed with an amazing family that will be there for you, even when it means being tough on you. Don't ever doubt that they love you, because they will see you through the difficult times both in school and in your relationships. You'll go through rocky patches with Mom and with Dad, but it'll all be OK in the end. One day, after you've wised up a bit, you'll wake up and realize that after all you've been through, your relationship with them has changed; they're not just Mom and Dad anymore, but friends. That's pretty special and unique, so cherish that.

Finally, you know that wedding you're planning for some weekend in May after graduation? I hate to break it to you, but at 22, you won't be married yet; God's plan for you is a little bit different. Be open to that different plan, though, because it's a good one. You'll know when it's time, because you'll have learned (a little bit better) how to be patient while you're working hard. You'll end up in a cool city with a good side job doing the thing you love best, even though right now you don't know that you love it this well.

I better stop before I give too much away. One last thing: don't wish your time at MC away. Enjoy the days that you have and know that when you have to move on, you'll be ready to do that. And hey, if I'm writing you from the future, you know you're going to come out on the other side!

Love always,

22 year old me

First day at the big girl job

I started at my new job this morning; I didn't realize it before, but it's actually a paid internship, which is pretty cool-excellent line on my resume as well as money coming in. It's not hard work, but it is a little frustrating sometimes, since I'm fact checking through Google. However, it's a really relaxed office (jeans are the dress code) and everyone's been really nice so far. Tomorrow I'm bringing in my big blue mug for coffee, which they have all day :)

After I got home from work and had some lunch (I'm only working half days on Monday and Wednesday because of classes), I went out to the 'Del to get my ID number/email log-in and get a photo ID made. It took me over an hour to get the ID number because it's a joint program and none of the students from my home school have been entered into the new database. Finally, I got the paperwork so that I could go up to the second floor of the building to get the ID made and... it's probably the worst ID picture that has ever been taken of me. I was told not to smile and then not given a warning that she was about to take the picture so I look like I either have something in my mouth or I'm getting ready to say something. Let's just hope that no one ever asks to see it.

I also had to visit the post office there, since the post office near my house that I found online (through the US Post Office's website, no less) is actually a doggy day care. I was slightly upset, but my brother (who, if I haven't mentioned it yet, goes to the military school that my school partners with for this joint MA program) said that I could go to the post office at one of the administrative halls at school. Mom also suggested leaving my mail to be mailed in my mailbox to see if I could get it picked up that way. Next time I need to mail something, I'm going to try that, but I know I have a backup option as I'll be on Pat's campus one day a week for class.

I got some school supplies while I was out too; I've been in school long enough that all I need is a couple of notebooks and pocket folders because I have tons of pens and everything else for classes.

Oh, and in the "new things" category, I joined the CCM choir. Music isn't really a new thing for me, nor is being in a church choir, but like I said before, I didn't do CCM in college, so combining that with my music is a new thing for me. Rehearsals are at 3:45 on Sundays, so I'll just be downtown earlier for Mass; I'm very excited about this.