Happiness is...

Happiness is... sleeping in for the first time in a month.

Now, granted, I've been busy in a good kind of way (especially last weekend, having my family here :)), but it was nice to know when I went to bed last night that it was OK to sleep until 10:00, which I definitely did, because I knew that all I had to do today was homework, and it was glorious.

Happiness is... a cool fall day spent reading.

Some Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, some Kipling, some Richard Wright-kind of random, all for homework, but all good. Speaking of reading, if you have not read Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, you need to. Right now. We read it for African American lit this week and it was one of those books that reminded me why I'm doing what I'm doing. Hurston uses dialect for the speech, which can be a little difficult at first, but it is so worth it. I'm planning a blog that details exactly what I loved about the book, but while I'm working on that, you should be reading :)

Happiness is... a clean apartment.

Before I went out last night, I got my apartment mostly straightened up and finished it this morning. It feels so nice to have it neat and clean-it's doing wonders for my productivity!

Happiness is... homemade bread.

I found a recipe here, in a link that popped up in my Google Reader (I like going through the suggested links, even though I don't subscribe to a whole lot of them, since Google tends to suggest a lot of super-fundamentalist evangelical blogs for me, which is not me at all!). I modified it quite a bit, as you can see by clicking the link and comparing it to the following; I haven't tried it, but am looking forward to a simple dinner of soup and a sandwich:

• 1/2 cup warm water
• 1 packets of yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp)
• 1 tbsp sugar, divided
• 1 tbsp oil
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup milk
• 3-3 1/2 cups flour

Dissolve 1/2 tbsp sugar into 1/2 cup of warm water in a large mixing bowl. Sprinkle yeast on top of the mixture and allow to foam for 5 minutes. Add oil, additional sugar, salt and milk; mix well. Add three cups of flour; mix 50 times clockwise, then 50 times counterclockwise.

Add 1 1/2 cups of additional flour until dough forms a ball. If necessary, add additional flour. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead for 5 minutes. The dough should be slightly sticky.

Roll the dough into a ball and place in a buttered bowl. Cover and let rise in a warm place for an hour. Punch down the dough and let rise for an additional 30 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes, place into greased loaf pan and let rise for an additional 30 minutes.

Bake the loaf in a 425-degree oven for 25-30 minutes. Remove from the loaf pan immediately after baking. Let cool for at least 15 minutes.

Sorry to have been AWOL for so long; it was midterm season, so I was swamped with work. At this point, though, I'm almost done with my work for the beginning of the week and just need to finish my Wednesday presentation and do my Thursday reading. Also, in 20 days, I'll be home for Corn! Yay!!

My dad is the reason I'm not married yet

I realize that that statement makes it sound like he stands at the door with a shotgun every time I bring a date home and I can neither confirm nor deny that supposition... just kidding. I realized tonight, though, while talking with some of the girls in my program, that it is true that my dad's the reason I'm not married yet, but the reasons aren't bad. Here's why:

1. My dad is supportive. Totally. On Monday night, I called him to tell him about a presentation I did and we ended up talking about class. Now, Daddy's an engineer, so Victorian literary criticism and theory isn't exactly his thing. But it is mine, so he listened while I went on about what an exciting class it was. And I'm realizing that because I've chosen such a highly competitive profession (the term "publish or perish" exists for a reason), I'm going to need a spouse who's incredibly supportive.

2. My dad isn't afraid of sacrifice. Ever since I can remember, he's worked for pharmaceutical companies, which means that buyouts happen a lot, so his job changes too. Right now, he's working an hour away from where my family lives because my mom and brothers are at good schools and they decided not to uproot the family this year. I think that's pretty awesome.

3. My dad is calm. Now, most of the time I pride myself on thinking and acting logically, but I do have a slightly dramatic bent to my personality, so sometimes I need to freak out. Like when I got that horrible sunburn the other week: I called him crying and yelling because it hurt so bad. He listened, then calmly told me what to do to make it better and called back the next morning to check on me. And I was a little better physically, but it just helped to have someone who could be logical so I could just react. This also ties in with number 1 above-I'm sure my freaking-out days won't be over when I get whatever degree I end up with, so I'll need someone to balance me out when I'm upset.

4. My dad is totally, completely, 100% in love with my mom. She is definitely the most important thing in his life and it's really sweet to watch the two of them. They are human, so their relationship isn't perfect, but it's a good one and they're good together. And really, more than anything, that's what I want.

So my dad is the reason that I'm not married yet, because I haven't found anyone so far who can live up to the ideal he's given me. But whenever I find him, I know it will be worth it.

Small Blessings, Day 7

As my week of counting blessings closes, I want to focus on the thing that's struck me today: One of the biggest blessings in my life is that I have chosen to be where I am. It surprises me sometimes how much of their lives people put online, and I guess that I am no different, since I do have a blog. However, I've noticed this remarkable trend on Facebook that some people put a lot of the negativity in their lives out on the internet for the world to see. I consciously try not to for a couple of reasons.

First, I don't want my mother to worry because I know she reads what I write :)

Second, as I said above, I have chosen this life. Yes, sometimes it would be easier to not be in school and I really wish I had a secure job, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm doing what I want to do and what I'm supposed to do. Moving here, enrolling in this program, making my life (for now, anyways) here: all my choice. And everyone makes those choices. I don't know anyone who was actually forced into doing what they're doing; some people have, apparently, made the wrong choice for them and are therefore unhappy, but that's part of being a grownup.

I've been thinking a lot about that idea of being grownup lately, because honestly sometimes it feels like this life is just play-acting at being a grownup, that one of these days, the woman who really lives in this apartment, goes to my school, drives my car, will come back and want me to relinquish her life; it hasn't quite sunk in that her life is mine. But being a grownup is more than just paying bills, having a job and choosing to do things like eat ice cream for dinner (not that I did, but I thought really hard about it tonight!). It's about owning the decisions you make and making the best of them when you choose the wrong thing.

So that's what I'm thankful for today: that I've made the right choice for my life right now and that I have the sense to see it :)

Small Blessings, Day 6

This morning, I really thought that I was going to have to work hard to find blessings in today, as I overslept by 35 minutes; my alarm was set for 8:45 (beach time) instead of 6:45 (work time), and the only reason I got up at 7:20 was because Monday is garbage day and there's a dumpster pretty close to my apartment. I managed to only be 10 minutes late to work, though and the day went uphill from there.

My supervisor told me she's pleased with my work and feels like I'm one of the more conscientious people on the team, which was nice to hear since I've only been there a month. She was at lunch when I ran out of phrases, so I got to leave work early and go sit in my new favorite spot by the fountain to go over my presentation that I gave tonight.

Old English was... long. We spent an hour going over 5 sentences, but Dr. Ward didn't correct my pronunciation at all, which was exciting, as that's one of the things I still struggle with, even after 2 semesters in undergrad.

I went for coffee between classes with my "posse," as Ann has termed us and then we went on a field trip to the library to pick up some books she'd ILL'd. Victorian lit went really well; I had a couple of insights in class that my professor appreciated and my presentation went fabulously. I felt like I was rambling a bit, but when I finished, he said that was exactly what he was looking for from our presentations, so that was a relief.

After class, some of the girls and I went to dinner at La Ha, a Mexican place downtown that's really cheap and actually pretty good. As I type this, my friend Ashley is on her way over, because her apartment has no water, so she's coming to spend the night with me.

Despite the title of this post, I think I've got some pretty big blessings in my life. I was telling my grandparents tonight that I feel like I've carried our senior motto (Go Big or Go Home) into grad school and man, does it feel good!

Small Blessings, Day 5

Today was pretty much perfect. Hillary came down yesterday and we spent all evening laughing, catching up and drinking wine. This morning, we got up and went to the beach, which was AMAZING. I am so blessed to live at the coast!

It was just around 80 degrees, with really low humidity because of the terrific storm last night. There was a breeze and the beach was quiet, with just a few families; the sky had some clouds, and they were frothy and moved around a lot. We laid out for a while, then went for a walk in the (warm!) water. After that, we stopped at one of the restaurants along the main street of the island, had a sandwich and then came back.

It was a good day. It's good to recognize good things :)

Simple Blessings, Day 4

Several things about today:

-Small birds playing on my patio and singing this morning

-The smell of fresh-baked bread

-The laughter of friends

-A clean apartment

-Girls night with my old roommate

Simple Blessings, Day 3

Early this evening, after I got back from the grocery store, I was taking my trash out. As I was walking back from the dumpsters, a door opened and some kids came out to play on their front patio. One of them, a little boy about 5 years old, said "Hey! Lady!" so I turned my head. He said "Hi!!" and then went back to singing while he climbed on the fence. I said "Hi!" back and then continued on my way, thankful that that sweet boy took a moment to say hi in an irrepressibly spontaneous kid way